Monday, November 4, 2013

Changing lives through sponsorship

OK.. so we will start with a virtual apology. The blogging thing didn't go as planned in Africa. Maybe next time ;)

We got home and life got crazy. We packed our home of 10 years and 3 kids in about 3 weeks and moved into a home literally given to us by God (not free-just all His will and plan- blessing upon blessing). We knew He was blessing us with this big house to foster, and we thought, "No problem God, we will get to that.... like after the holidays...maybe in the summer.... etc." God reminded us not about us and our plans. He placed a burden and a brokenness in my heart I can never put into words. God lead us through the detours to Ebenezer Children's Home, and we completed our course-work a few weeks ago and are in the process of becoming a licensed family.

Ok. So that was the short version to catch some of you up, but the reason that I am writing this blog today is to talk to you about sponsorship. Uh oh--2 people just clicked the exit button and 5 more rolled their eyes. Stay with me folks... please!

I know we see stuff on tv and at every Christian concert and event about sponsorship. Some of us even have an African hanging on our fridge. We can check a box or raise our hand when asked, "Who here has answered the call of sponsoring a child?" If this is you-- just please keep reading.

We began sponsoring Caroline through World Vision 6 years ago. Let me not lie, Joe sponsored Caroline and paid for it. At first I didn't get it. How do we know this is not a scam? What is this money really doing for her? I was very skeptical and was not at the same place as Joe. But then I began to see how sponsoring Caroline impacted my own daughter. We prayed for Caroline every night. We talked about how her life was different from ours. Kyla (my daughter) and Caroline are a few weeks apart. It has been amazing watching them grow. We love getting pictures and seeing updates. So it has been a positive experience, one we continue, but not something I jumped into with both feet.

This past year we have had the opportunity through His Chase to sponsor students to leave the orphanage and for the first time get a quality education in boarding school. Wait a minute... this was different. No longer was this a picture on a card (which I thought they made 25 copies of to get lots of money). These were the kids we met the previous summer. These kids had names and faces and hopes and dreams. Education, and the pursuit of it, is my passion in life. I know how it can change lives. And the lives of future generations.

It was so difficult to pick one child. We loved so many. There was also an opportunity to be matched as a pen-pal. Of course I chose to write some of the kids I knew, but I asked that I be matched with a kid chosen by (God &) His Chase. I was matched with Theogene, a 17 year old boy I had never met. We began written correspondence. When we found out we were going to Africa of course we were excited to meet him, but then we were told we wouldn't be able to. We were extremely disappointed. But then God, Mark, and Frank worked it out and Joe and I were able to leave the group and visit Theogene and the other students at King David.

This is the first time I got to see with my own eyes what sponsorship looks like. I saw this group of nearly 100 children- who months ago were orphans- were now these independent, confident, thriving young-adults. I have to say the anticipation built as all the other kids walked in and I waited to meet Theogene. I was really nervous. I even flat-ironed my hair that morning to look my best. :) When Theogene walked in the room I heard some of the kids say, "Your mom is here." When he came over to hug me, I held that boy and cried as if he came out of my uterus. I tried to snap out of it because I did not want to embarrass my boy. I can't even now explain why I felt so emotional. I was completely surprised by how much of a connection we shared. I felt so proud as I watched Theogene's face light up when his friends said, "Your mom and dad- They came here for you." We had a family album that we brought from home and in the front were the pictures I had of Theogene. Right there with all our family photos. I didn't really understand the impact of this until I saw Theogene's response. He is so shy, but his friends were saying, "Theogene. You are there. You are family." The expression on his face was priceless. This is a day I will never forget.

So a few days after meeting Theogene  we had the opportunity to visit Gashura Village, a community for genocide survivors. We were going to be walking around to the homes of these children and taking their photos and getting information to begin the sponsorship program. Sounded good- but I had no idea how this would change my life. Our group had 15 houses to visit. We would greet the adult (may be the mom, grandmother, etc.) and spend time listening to their story. The heartache and trauma shared are not my stories to tell, but time after time we learned of the devastating consequences of genocide, poverty, HIV, and lives lived with extreme hardship. But in this sadness we also witnessed how great our God is. His timing is perfect. His provisions are great. His joy was ever-present. I went into homes and prayed with many of these mothers. I saw they have so little, but their faith is so strong.

I got to see- and touch- and love- first hand these children and families that will be touched through Kunda sponsorship. I had no idea what their lives were really like. I didn't believe the photos on the internet. I just couldn't relate. I didn't get it. I know one day only gives me a glimpse, but I felt before we even left Africa that God was leading me to advocate for these children. He wants me to tell you this is real so that you may open your heart to changing a life. While we were there I was told by one of the leaders that health insurance for the kids is $6/year. I haven't fact checked this, but the source was legit. I spent more than that on lunch today.

I know some of us already sponsor kids, give our 10%, drop off clothes to Goodwill..... the list could go on. When I came home I wanted to sponsor 5 kids. Then I felt that I would be getting in the way of someone else's blessing. Then I haven't worked and I got scared and thought, "God, I can't do this right now." But I love Antoine. I held him in my lap and listened to his sweet voice read to me, and I can't let him down. I am being selfish in saying I can't afford $35 a month. I do enough already. Am I really living sacrificially so that I can bless others? When I think of these mothers and what they sacrifice for their children... I can only repent.

So please, if you have ever considered sponsorship, please be a life-changer for one of these children. I think about my mother-in-law that always says instead of gifts she wants us to do something nice for others. Could you sponsor a child in honor of a family member? What a special gift that would be. Are you trying to teach your children lessons about generosity/wastefulness, etc? Does this line work for you: "Do you know how many children are starving in Africa and you won't eat your ___!" Nope, doesn't work for me either. It's not real. Sponsorship makes it real. This child will become part of your family. When your child sees the mat your sponsored child sleeps on in a room of 5 on a dirt floor it changes them. As a family we have changed.  I know I have to stop writing now, but if you would like to discuss this any further or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for reading! Praying for you!
April   ankfaf@aol.com


To find out more or sponsor a child go to: www.bestfamilyrwanda.org

p.s You will be able to communicate with your sponsored child. You may even be blessed like I was and meet him/her! Let me know if you sponsor a child and I can send you the photos I have of them from when we were there or share with you any stories I have from our time together.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

He chose me (Gretchen)


Today I felt drained. It wasn't because I didn't want to be here, it was because I have felt so deeply and have experienced plenty. My prayer was only to be blown away by the love of God. That's all I desired.

Today was heavy. Last year when I came to Rwanda, I learned the tragedy and death of the genocide that happened here in 1994. We went to the memorial last year, and earlier this week was my second time going. We stood by the mass grave of 200,000 lives lost.  If you don't know more than the shallow story of the genocide, please read online to understand the weight of that time so you can feel what I felt today. April 6th 1994 was the first day of the major genocide in this country. 1 million people in total lost their lives within the 3 dark months. People here say "Rwanda was dead". Anyone here over 20 or so witnessed the  genocide. Families were wiped out, parents lost their children, and children lost their parents. I tell you this to set you up for where we spent our time today. We were in a place called gasharu, which is a village for genocide survivors. This place is filled with widows, grandmothers, and children. In Rwanda if you don't have your father you're considered an orphan. We went to 18 different homes, which are made of mud brick homes (sturdy but small) the 3 little pigs definitely would have been good in these homes.  We heard a different testimony from each survivor of the genocide. They are now caring for their children and grandchildren the best they can. These women were extremely grateful for us to come face to face with them. Most of them prayed for us before we left. Wow. They are truly strong woman of God who desperately clung to faith in the middle of hell. Their memories and disasters still tug on their hearts. They speak of the genocide as if it was only a year ago. Every day they hang on even though it has to hurt more than we can imagine. There are scars both physically and emotionally that they carry. Machete was the weapon of choice during the genocide. We saw hack marks on their heads, arms, and legs. They told us they either ran and his,
or fakes their deaths.  It became very real for me during those visits. There was a little 6 year old boy who clung to me from the time we got off the bus.  I have never had a child gaze into my eyes like he did. I felt so much compassion for him that I can't put into words. He would always find me in the crowd as if I was only his. God really burdened my heart for him in a way I had never experienced before. I can't wait to tell his story in real life. We walked up to one home as a feeble grandmother on crutches came out and greeted us. The same little boy came up front and stood with her so we knew this was his family and his home. Next a young woman came out alongside of the grandmother. Here is their story the grandmother told. "I am the one he calls mom, this is my daughter who is now mentally disabled due to them (genocidaires) trying to kill her in the head, (next she lifts up her daughters skirt to show scar on her knee from a machete) Her daughter was beaten in the head so much that she suffered permanent damage and trauma. This shows us that the daughter was most likely taken advantage of about 6 years ago and had Reponse. She is in no state to fully care as a mother. The  grandmother takes the role of mom to her hurt daughter and this little boy. Reponse doesn't even know that she is actually his mom. They keep it from him. He sees her as his older sister. This story broke my heart. He is very very feeble like his mother. Each time I held him I was so soft and careful because I didn't want to hurt him. This is just one story that rocked me and cut really deep. The sacrifice of this grandmother is too much to grasp. How does she do it? The struggle this family has is too much to bear. He is so little  because he lacks many things, and is also HIV positive. (There were thousands and thousands of women raped during genocide and disease was transferred). I hugged him tighter after I heard about his life. And I watched him closer as our day came to an end. He laughed, played, and ran wild just like any kid does. Today he is okay and lives in Hope because he is a child of God. I don't know if he has enough food and clean water and that completely breaks me. Life is changing for them  through Best Family Rwanda (BFR) and a sponsorship program! These are the stories I ignore and assume someone else handles. I was hit in the face with the realization that sponsoring a child actually saves them. Right now about 40 out of hundreds of the kids in this village are sponsored by fundraising that will only last the rest of the year. Once that runs out, a new sponsorship will be in full force in 2014, so its then up to commitment of people who are willing. Some kids will be chosen, and others won't. I don't understand, and that is tough to swallow. Sponsoring means school, food, and health insurance. I will make sure my little guy Reponse is sponsored and covered. I could make some excuses like i always have as to why I can't support, but the weight of this compels me. This is how I know The Lord is real: this little tiny boy chose me with a look, It just so happens I specifically got to go hear his families story, and the weight that was put on my heart was like I had never experienced before. Before we left I gave him my full water bottle, I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He gave me the biggest smile back, held up his water bottle as if it was treasure, and gave me a thumbs up. His grandmother stood right beside him and smiled! It made me the happiest because that was enough for him that moment. I wanted to hold him, give him what he needed, and love him with everything in me. I didn't want to leave him. This will change me forever: Jesus knows us in a crowd, he knows us in a world that is huge and poor in spirit. Jesus sees us as if I we are only his. Just as I am weak, worn, and my heart is lacking, Jesus wants so badly to save me from that.  He has compassion for me. He wants to give me more than enough,  I just need to choose him. Today He showed more of his heart for me and for these children in a little village in Africa. I looked into His eyes.

I don't want to be "that girl" who goes to Africa and takes pictures of orphans so that you can say "aww" or "Gretchen is so good for going over there". This is not about me. Please let this grow your faith as you hear how He has grown mine in just 1 day.

Sorry for the grammar and scattered thoughts, this is on an iphone. I would love to share more stories, this is just a glimpse! I do miss home. Thank you for caring and reading. My other 3 regular folks will also have their stories to tell!
-April, Joe, TJ

Love you all!
-Gretchen

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Update from April 7/7

    It is 10 pm here on 7/7 as I begin this blog. I can barely keep my eyes open. If you know me at all you know I am a girl who loves to sleep. 8 hours a night minimum on "school nights." When daylight savings comes around I'm messed up for a month, so imagine flying to the other side of the world. We've stayed awake late and got up early because we don't want to miss a thing! For all of you who gave your money to help us go or help us give while we are here, thank you just isn't enough.
     There have been so many amazing moments on this trip so far, I don't even know what to tell. I'm so scared I will forget something. I treasure these memories so dearly. I don't know which stories to share and which to keep locked in my heart. Some stories aren't my stories to tell or put on the computer for the world to see, but I will tell you God is doing mighty things in the lives of so many here in Rwanda.
  Gretchen posted about our first day with the Best Family. I will not retell the details of this time, but I will share with you what left the biggest impression. It was the fact that we went to love on "the least of these".. orphans, and we had this idea that we were going to bring them joy and love, as if they don't have it or in some way we will give them more. It was the complete opposite. They were oozing of joy, love, peace, and hope. It was contagious. We were welcomed as part of the family and these weren't just words.
  We found out when Jean Claude came to America he was able to visit the Visiting Orphans office in Nashville. The mission of VO is to "Go.Be.Love." Jean Claude loved this and decided to implement this with his kids. So we were able to be a part of this experience. They chose a family who was living in "the forest." We were going to "go be love" to her and her children. We were told they were sleeping on the ground and had no food. The dad is an alcoholic, so he works, but spends the money on his addiction. So we were all given food to carry to her house and share. We all just imagined we were going on this little walk. WRONG. Rumor has it Jean Claude fibbed about the time and distance- skipped the part about it being straight up a mountain, so that we would go :). 
  So we walked (clinged to life) up a mountain (it was really cool!) to the home. (I am just realizing I'm going into a story I said Gretchen told). OK.. trying to abbreviate. I am hoping some of my pictures turned out so I can show you what the house looked like. But my point to this story is that these kids who have so little were giving to others in need. They didn't want from us. They had no expectations. We weren't there to serve them. They were serving God, and we were honored to accompany them on that journey to love on this family.
   The next day was amazing, as we got to meet our sponsor child. I am going to do a separate post about this... so stay tuned. But I want to tie meeting this family with something that happened today.
   So today we were invited to church with Jean Claude and the Best Kids. We were told to be prepared for a long visit. They were already singing (the few there) as we got there at 8:30 a.m. The party (literally... wait til you see my videos!) continued until 12 p.m. They were taking a quick lunch break to return at 3 p.m. The other part of the invitation was that they asked us to be a part of the service. They asked if someone would preach and that we would all sing and some would share testimony. We were told this last night, but I didn't think much about it at the time. We stayed up so late and I didn't prepare, but as we went to bed I felt very convicted by the Holy Spirit that I was supposed to share. For my non-Christian friends, to translate: I went to bed completely exhausted. And this idea came into my head. And it is as if your whole body is awake. It is a very strong feeling.
   This is not something I am comfortable with (I hear God laughing now.. jk) or anything I really wanted to do, so I tried to go to sleep and ignore it. That didn't go so well. So I told Joe in the morning (to try to hold myself accountable) that I felt as if I was supposed to share and encourage the Best Family kids. I felt God leading me to talk about the importance of education and "my story." I wanted to tie this in with why we support kids through sponsorships, etc. Why are we in Rwanda, Uganda, etc. paying for kids (sometimes strangers) to have an education. Tying this all back into God's plan and love for us (Ephesians 2:10). Joe said he may share to, he would see. He said seeing that family in the hut (with the alcoholic father) made him want to share words of encouragement for others who may be going through that situation.
  So we had an amazing morning of worship. I thought the preacher may forget and skip over this part. NEGATIVE. So when it came time for us to share our testimonies, Blake and then Lindsay spoke first (another married couple from our trip). Was already teary after Lindsay. Then Joe pops up out of his seat. Snap.. wish I had gone first. I was close to an audible cry (the one right past the tears in a continuous stream) when he was finished. He did share about how for so long he let poor choices control his life. *I will not tell all these details as maybe Joe will share his own story in a blog. It's his story to tell, not mine.
   Ok, so I got up next. SCARY. I would like to say I said something beautiful and glorifying to God. I really have no idea. After each sentence we had to be translated. I was fighting back tears (well.. most of the time). When I was finished I was just thankful I said yes. I wanted to ignore that calling. Wait for someone else to jump up and take my turn. But I did it.
   So when the service finished some folks came up to speak to us. One guy was Eric. He was so moved by our testimonies. He is running a ministry that supports people recovering from addiction. He was interested in partnering with Joe to get ideas on how to help his men, etc. He wants Joe to be able to talk with some of the guys, etc. *I am going to leave out a lot of details here, but it was just awesome. So Eric hung out with our group the rest of the day. He was the one translating everything into English during the service. He said it is by chance he was at the church. The pastor called for his help translating, because he does not go to that church now. But this was no coincidence. After spending that day together and talking and sharing, we see how God orchestrated this plan. He connected us together and I look forward to seeing how that friendship/partnership will grow. After dinner the 3 of us held hands and prayed together. I found out he did not have a Bible in his language, so I gave him one. It was just a cool ending to the day.
   It was awesome to see how God weaves these plans together. If we hadn't seen the woman in the forest and learned her husband was an alcoholic, would Joe have given his testimony? Without giving his testimony, Eric would have never talked to him.
  Ok.. friends stopped by. Almost 12. We still have to prepare for tomorrow. I will write more when I can. Again, thank you for loving us, reading this, praying for us, blessing us, praying for Mimi and the kids, etc. God is good.
PS- I apologize if I am writing in short, choppy sentences. We are all talking like Africans- skipping lots of prepositions, etc.

Our first day (7/5) with BFR... by Gretchen.

*Sorry for the delayed post. We had some technology difficulty and couldn't get this up before tonight. Working on a few more to have up soon.

The NC crew is doing well and loving our journey this far!

Today The Lord reflected his love for us and for the children in everything. We
spent the afternoon with the children of Best Family Rwanda (BFR). This
organization was started by 3 young men who are survivors of the genocide. They
became orphans after they witnessed their parents and other family members
murdered  right in front of them. They were just 8, 9, and 11 years old. Through
their horror and desperation as young children they became brothers, sharing
together and loving each other as family. As they grew up they had a desire to
bring "confident Hope" to other children without parents and without someone to
care for them. This ministry and family has grown beautifully and abundantly!
There are 82 children in the family who now have education, food, and most
importantly Family. These are the ones we visited today. As soon as our bus
pulled up, we were swarmed with Joy and the sweetest smiles in the world. They
welcomed us with letters and prayed over us. These children and their leaders
live in the freedom and satisfaction that Jesus is who he says he is. I don't
walk this out daily. It is true and it is real that Jesus is enough for each of
us and his presence can fill our hearts completely. Our young friends in Rwanda
believe it and it pours out of them. Today we were changed forever. Most of
these children are extremely poor and the BFR program is their only way of
support, school, and security. Today unexpectedly they told us that we would be
joining them in blessing a mother of 4 who lives on top of a mountain that is
living in extreme poverty. "Just up the hill" actually meant an hour hike up a
slop. The Africans were definitely showing up us Americans haha.  They kept
asking if we were okay, and we lied and said "YES"...but we were struggling.
Anyways, they led us with love, held our hands making sure we didn't fall, held
back briers and let us always go before them. Both the younger and older
children are the most loving servants to us. They have a sense of family and the
kingdom of God in their hearts that we have got to get. "We welcome you and love
you too much, you came as visitors and we are blessed, but now you're our Best
Family" On the journey there were intimate conversations and sharing between all
of us and our new friends. A 19 year old boy was very adamant on sharing the
truth with me that "God is ALL" I won't ever forget the simplicity of those
words. We reached the top of the mountain and the 15 of us squeezed in this home
built out of trees, and mud dirt. Our Rwandan friends waited outside as they
sang and danced. In the very small worn out home was a woman breast feeding her
baby. We brought with us a week supply of needs and food for her. She humbly
received the blessing. As our leader translated, her tender heart was spilled
out. Her words "this is only a heavenly blessing, I pray God repays you because
only he is able" We prayed with her and loved her in those moments. She then
wanted to pray for us. We were completely blown away. Today we were expecting to
love and share with these children, Instead they wanted us to experience real
Joy from blessing 1 family way up on a mountain. THAT is a reflection of the
deep Love that the Father shows us. Our friends at BFR are in need, they have so
much less than us, and still they didn't want from us today, they wanted to
serve with us. They have confident Hope and I believe that fully for them and
for us today. I am filled today! It is a true Joy to love and to be loved by our
family here. GOD IS ALL.

Tomorrow we look forward to a full day with the Best Family! Thank you for your
countless prayers. Please don't let up! We have so much love for our friends and
family back home!


Gretchen Bennett

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Departure is nearing...

Well the time is drawing near to have to say goodbye to the kiddos.  I said goodbye to Kenna, but Bubba is still up watching the incredibles, and Ky is waking up at 4AM to see us off.  I am not good at goodbyes, but really not good with momma and the kids.  I do not like this part of the trip.  Running and packing all day, and the kids keep saying they are gonna miss me soo much.  When it gets to this point I just want to get off and running.  My kids mean the world to me, but Gods' will for my life is even more important.  People ask how can you leave your kids like this.  Well it is an extreme sacrifice for me, but it is what I feel called to do.  It would be wrong for me to ignore God leading me down this path.  It would be wrong for me to just ignore what I seen first hand last year, and act like everything is OK across the pond.  The poeple and kids we are going to see need to know Jesus, and that Jesus loves them.  We are going over there to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these kids who desperately need Him.  I need to finish up packing as we leave for the airport in less than 5 hours.  Please keep us in your prayers as we will be traveling for 24 hours.  God bless  Joe

Monday, July 1, 2013

Itinerary for Rwanda

Here is a copy of our schedule so you will have an idea of what we are doing while we are there. From what I remember and my Google search, Rwanda is 6 hours ahead of NC.

 
July 3
Day 1 Rest of team arrives in DC to catch our 10:15 AM flight to Kigali. We will have a brief layover in Addis (Ethiopia) on the way.  

July 4
Day 2 Arrive in Kigali at 11:55 AM. Meet our guide Peter after clearing customs, head to the hotel for dinner, money exchange and sleep!

July 5
Day 3 Breakfast at hotel. In the morning we will visit the Genocide Memorial Museum with Jean Claude and some of the guys from BFR (Best Family Rwanda). Lunch and spend the afternoon with the Best Family Rwanda.

July 6
Day 4 We will spend the day with the kids at Best Family.

July 7
Day 5 Morning worship at a Rwandan church with the BFR and spend the afternoon with them.

July 8
Day 6 Visit the Gasharu community with the Best Family. Dinner at hotel.
 
July 9
Day 7 Up early for the drive to Gisenyi. Lunch and day of rest at Imbabazi. Dinner at the Palms on Lake Kivu. Check in to Hotel Dian Fossey.

July 10-12
Days 8-10 We will spend these days at Noel and the ministries surrounding it. We will spend time at the orphanage itself, the special needs school, No. 41, and His Imbaraga.
 
July 13
Day 11 This morning starts our long journey home. Up early for our drive back to Kigali. Lunch and head to the airport for our 4 PM flight to Addis and then home to DC.
 
July 14
Day 12 Arrive in DC at 8:30 AM. We have rented a car and will be driving from DC.
 
Thank you in advance for your prayers. A lot to get done before we leave, so this post will be short.
-April 




Monday, June 24, 2013

Moving Forward -by April

      Yesterday at church our worship team sang "Moving Forward" (Israel Houghton..Please Youtube this!). About 3 minutes into the song the words repeat... "You make all things new, you make all things new, you make all things new, and I will follow you forward." Please watch the video to get the full effect and power of these words in context. It's still so cool to me how God knows you on such a personal level that He knew this was the song I needed to hear. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 5:17- This means that anyone who belongs in Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (NLT).  
   Praise God! As I think of our upcoming anniversary and mission trip, I believe these words with all of my heart. Five years ago if you had told me on my 10 year wedding anniversary we would be serving in Africa together (or that we would even have a 10 year anniversary), I would have told you you were insane. We are a testimony that God is real and He is in the business of changing hearts. I just imagine He smiles when we have these revelations. Like He says, "Silly girl...do you not read your Bible? You know I created you anew in Christ Jesus so that you can do the good things I planned for you long ago (Ephesians 2:10). Long ago... like I knew this was your path and my plan. Thanks for getting with the program, April."
     So as I think about those words from the song and the Bible I am just so thankful for what God has done in my life. But I have to say the reality of it all hit a little harder yesterday. In some ways it is nice to know what to expect, but in other ways I think it may be harder. We came back last year broken. Praise God for that, but it is hard. You can't spend days holding orphans in your arms and not be changed. A week after we came home we went to the beach for a few days. It was depressing. Why God? Why do we have so much and others give up their children in love because they can't feed them? As I watched my kids play in the waterpark, tears fell behind the glasses. Thank God Joe was with me and he felt the exact same way, because it's hard to talk about it. It is so hard when your heart has changed and you are burdened to share this, and most people don't care. It is hard to find the words when someone asks in passing, "How was your trip?" because life-changing is an understatement. So I wonder if knowing this will be better or will it be harder to come home this time? Especially now since we are going to visit folks we have talked with, emailed, prayed for and loved this whole year. This quote hung on a wall in an ministry we visited last year, and the words couldn't be more true: " If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in this world, than thank Him for breaking your heart." Oswald Chambers
   The other reality that hit is how difficult it is to leave the kids. Some say it to my face and others behind my back, "I could never leave my children like that." I get it. 10 days is a long time. I'm sure they will miss us, but believe me they will be living the good life. Mimi (Joe's mom) and my babysitter will be taking care of them. Each day we are gone they get to open a letter from us and what I've called "guilt gifts." They are pumped. I just can't think about this part without getting teary. Last year I explained it to Kyla by saying that I loved them so much, but I love God more (I know this will seem bizarre to my non-Christian friends reading this). As Christians we are supposed to put God above everything else, and when your relationship is right with Him it positively changes your interactions and relationships with others. I am a better mom, wife, and friend when I am putting God first. Period. But what I realized is I never had to really "prove it." It is easy to say, "God is my number one." Harder to leave your kids for 10 days and go half way around the world. But I felt like that was the first time I really did put Him first. It would be easy to ignore the tugging of my heart. To stay home and go to Emerald Pointe and the Science Center. Sleep late and eat ice cream. But I think about what a better human being I am and how this has changed our family, our priorities, and the hearts and prayers of our little ones... and I remember it is more than worth it. He is more than worth it. Unplugged version of "Moving Forward"